I took my daughters to a prison to visit their father

I adopted three girls in 2022 after many years to favor them. Their biological father – we call him dad – is incarcerated for an armed robbery that he committed when he was in the grip of dependence. He has been in prison since before the birth of his youngest daughter.

When dad was arrested, his wife cut all the ties. When their family life has deteriorated, girls Entering a host familyAnd dad was legally the right to have contact with them. Social workers were not interested in getting there, so I sent photos of dad and some of the girls' drawings. Dad replied with his own drawing. We moved in full -fledged letters when the girls learned to read and write.

Dad seemed soft and unpretentious to me; He even wrote to me and my husband, Rob, thanking us for everything we did.

When we moved to telephone calls, I was impressed by the way Papa focused the girls. He has made room for them to have a relationship with Rob without having the impression of being unfair. He helped them with mathematics and Spanish and gave them good advice when they were angry or frustrated by their mother; When the midfielder went through a difficult period when she stole her classmates and a teacher, it was not me or Rob or the school that stopped. It was dad.

I bring girls for visits

What impressed me the most was how Dad was treating his daughters' half-brother, that Rob and I nicknamed the little brother. The little brother was the son of Papa's wife and his boyfriend, and we also adopted it. We assumed that Dad would not want to have anything to do with a child who was not his, but we were wrong.

Dad wrote letters and included a little brother on telephone calls. He asked me to send the little brother's photo so that he can tattoo him. His attitude was that his daughters' brother was his son, and he called him “mi hijo. “”

The prison is an hour's drive, and after the finalization of our adoption, I took the girls to visit a cold and covered morning. The youngest was not old enough to understand the biology that made the dad family, but she felt an instant connection and threw herself into her arms. As they kissed, tears sank on dad's face.

We spent this visit to eating too expensive tacos of an automatic distributor and playing board games. Papa spoke of the certifications he had obtained for concierge services and the management of a commercial detergent. He worked on his GED and wanted to become an advisor.

“To help men like me,” he said, “when they go out.”

We had to leave before the Photomaton opens, and when the guards realized this, they rushed to prepare it early so dad can have a photo with his children. It was my first clue that the guards loved dad, even respected him.

They play with him during our visits

I was supposed to have the girls at all times at any time, but during a later visit, a goalkeeper dropped a football ball at our table and allowed me to sit comfortably on the touch while Papa played with them on a field filled with gopher holes. I learned that dad had a talent to soften the tensions between the prisoners before violence has fun. When fighting occurred, dad was sometimes the one who broke them.

Papa's good behavior has shaved a significant delay in his sentence; He was to be released on February 6, 2025. Our phone calls were dotted with plans to attend basketball matches, school events and a Sunday dinner. I fantasized that our daughters have two dads give them to their weddings. After all, which child would not benefit from having another loving adult in his life?

On January 24, Papa obtained an opinion which extended his time a few weeks so that Ice could recover it. He had already been told that Ice did not hold him, but this plan changed and a mandate was issued. I have no words to describe the devastation of having all the promised joy torn just as it has brushed the fingertips.

The girls went to prison for a last visit on a rainy Sunday. Dad spent this time filling his head with memories of his early childhood, stories on a pet for pets with babies and a truck of ice cream whose engine has made an oldest distinctive sound always recognized, the special way in which the middle girl collapsed about to greet Dad when he returned home.

I tried to make him a lawyer

I tried to hire an immigration lawyer for dad, but each legal office that I called was overwhelmed by the number of cases with which they suddenly found themselves. A friend of a friend called for in favor of making someone take the business, but this lawyer is not optimistic, he can prevent Dad from being expelled. When I paid for the restraint, the staff asked several times if I was certain that I even wanted to try. His petition to reopen his case of asylum has been refused, but we are appealing.

Children are naturally depressed. Dad does a good job so as not to let them know how frightened and sad he is, but I hear the panic deleted in his voice. I have no regrets to reintegrate dad in the life of his daughters, but I think that being expelled would be easier for dad if I hadn't done.

“I know it's difficult, but we have to stay courageous,” said children often. “I always try everything I can think of.”

And when trying to want to run in the wind, I remember that I did not have great expectations when I contacted Dad for the first time and this effort collected advantages beyond my wildest dreams.